Books not to miss FREE on Amazon (7-11 August)

Free promo 7-11 aug 2014 (1)

Today, I’m pleased to present to you a great Greek author, Effrosyni Moschoudi, and her awesome books, The Necklace of Goddess Athena and The Lady of the Pier, the Ebb.  As of this Thursday (August 7) and for five days, they will be FREE on Amazon. I’ve read both, and they make a great summer read, so don’t miss out!

Fros messo1 test2 jpg (1)WHO IS EFFROSYNI?

Effrosyni Moschoudi was born and raised in Athens, Greece. She has a BSc in Computer Science and has worked for large companies for twenty years, mainly in the hotel and airline business. She’s been writing since childhood and lives in a quaint seaside town near Athens with her husband Andy and a naughty cat called Felix.

Her debut novel, “The Necklace of Goddess Athena”, is a fantasy adventure of Greek myths and time travel that’s suitable for all ages. It’s been described as a “Rare Gem” by the Fantasy & Sci-fi Network and has reached Amazon’s #1 in Mythology and #2 in Fairy Tales. The novel also made the shortlist in 2014 for the “50 Best Self-Published Books Worth Reading” from Indie Author Land.

Effrosyni’s second novel, “The Lady of the Pier – The Ebb”, is an ABNA quarter-finalist. The book follows the lives and loves of two young girls who’ve never met but are connected in a mysterious way. It is the first part of a paranormal romance that’s set in Brighton (England) in the 1930’s and in Corfu (Greece) in the 1980’s. Effrosyni is currently penning the second part of the series (“The Flow”), which she plans to publish in 2015.

On her blog, Effrosyni presents the works of fellow indie authors with spotlights, interviews, and book reviews. She also posts her own content of various subjects, such as travel articles, inspiring personal accounts, tips for authors, and even some Greek recipes.

IN ATHENS, THE GODS STILL DWELL AMONG THE MORTALS.

NECKLACE OF ATHENA533x800 (1)
Efimios is an ancient Greek and an unsung hero of Athens. He has saved the city countless times by undertaking time-travelling missions as instructed by Goddess Athena herself. Now an elderly man, he sends his son Phevos and his adopted daughter Daphne on a time-travelling quest to modern-day Athens. Mysterious as always, he only advises his children to look out for the signs without offering any explanations. Mystified, yet eager to obey their father’s will, Phevos and Daphne settle down in this new world, having been offered assistance by two orphaned siblings: Ksenia and Manos. New friendships and romantic love change their lives while their father’s covert purpose is gradually revealed. As the youngsters continue to unravel the secrets of their family past, inevitably they get caught up in the ongoing conflict between two Gods, one of which becomes their protector and the other, their worst nemesis. Who will prevail when the rival Gods meet again and will the mortal bystanders survive to tell the tale?

Read an excerpt on my complementary blog here.

Praise for the book:

(Excerpts from posted reviews on Amazon.com)

“Beautifully written – an enchanting read!”

“A sweet, nostalgic view of Athens.”

“You will be left wishing it had never ended.”

“Wisdom, eternal values, and ethos are at the heart of this book.”

“I didn’t want it to end – a remarkable achievement!”

“Gem after gem of wisdom that will touch your heart.”

“Each word is a picture! Each turn, a beautiful description of an Athenian site!”

“A tale that is woven with artistry, love, and great care easily becomes one of my favorites. Check it out and you won’t be disappointed!”

Find it now on Amazon

Amazon (US): http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I5GXHCO

Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00I5GXHCO

 

LOVE WILL GO ON FOREVER, SEEKING A SECOND CHANCE.

 LADY OF PIER EBB old 533x800 (1)
BRIGHTON, 1937

Laura Mayfield leaves London with her mother Ruth in order to pursue a new life in Brighton. She finds employment at the West Pier Pavilion and soon falls in love with Christian Searle, one of the stagehands at the theatre. Laura aspires to a life of riches but this annoys and frightens the proud and insecure Christian, causing rows between them. When she is offered the chance to perform at the theatre, her love for Christian is put to the ultimate test. Charles Willard, a wealthy and arrogant aristocrat becomes fascinated by her and pursues her relentlessly, causing Christian to become enraged. Will Laura’s desire for wealth throw her in the arms of Charles or will her feelings for Christian prevail?

CORFU, 1987

Sofia Aspioti, a Greek student from Athens, arrives in Corfu for her annual summer holidays at her grandparents’ house, relieved to escape her overprotective parents’ care for a while. She takes on a job at the local water sports pier and when Danny Markson, a larger-than-life British tourist flirts with her, she is initially worried that his advances will cause her trouble with her strict family. Yet, by the time she realises that she’s desperately in love, she finds she no longer cares. When Danny returns home to a village near Brighton, Sofia becomes haunted by a series of dreams about the West Pier and a woman dressed in black. As if cast by a spell, she takes to writing poems about a love that won’t let go. Who is the grieving woman in her dreams and how is her sorrow related to her own feelings for Danny?

Read an excerpt on my excerpts’ blog here.

Praise for the book:

(Excerpts from posted reviews on Amazon.com)

“Addictively mesmerizing”

“I defy you to put this book down after the first chapter”

“I got withdrawal symptoms when I ended it”

“The writer has an undisputed talent for creating vivid imagery”

“A fantastic read. This author has the ability to draw you into the story”

“If you enjoy romance, take heed: The Ebb makes a perfect summer read!”

“A heartfelt story drawing you in and not letting (you) go until the last page. Fantastic!”

“An inner glow, an inherent purity emanates from the pages to create a sense of completeness, like a dream you don’t want to wake up from.”

Find it now on Amazon

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LGNYEPC

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00LGNYEPC

 

CONNECT WITH EFFROSYNI

Blog: http://www.effrosinimoss.wordpress.com

FB Book page: https://www.facebook.com/Necklaceathena

FB Book page: https://www.facebook.com/ladyofpier

FB Author page https://www.facebook.com/authoreffrosyni

Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/author/effrosyni

Twitter: https://twitter.com/frostiemoss

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7362780.Effrosyni_Moschoudi

Google + : https://plus.google.com/+EffrosyniMoschoudi

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/effrosyni-moschoudi/82/347/a01

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/efrosinimoschou/

Book Trailer: (Necklace) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHJcVuAkRV4

Book Trailer: (Lady) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3LrIRBxNVM

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Black Rook by Kelly Meade (Spotlight)

Here’s a brief language and cultural lesson: Loup is French for wolf, and garou (from Frankish garulf, cognate with English werewolf) is a man who transforms into an animal. In the Cajun legends, the creature is said to prowl the swamps around Acadiana and Greater New Orleans, and possibly the fields or forests of the regions. Source: Wikipedia

Intrigued? Brought to you by Rabid PR, this paranormal romance is guaranteed to spike your interest and set your pulse racing! Read more about this first installment of the Cornerstone Run Trilogy, and if you want to read the full first chapter, head over to my excerpts’ blog by clicking right here.

Black Rook, Cornerstone Run Trilogy #1

By Kelly Meade

Available July 15th from Intermix

ISBN 9780698165441

Amazon | B&N | iBooks | Penguin | BAM

GoodReads

Blurb

She never saw this coming… 

Brynn Atwood is a low-level Magus whose unpredictable precognitive powers have made her an outcast among her people—and an embarrassment to her highly-regarded father. After a frightening vision in which her father is murdered by a loup garou man, Brynn decides to prove herself by finding the killer, and stopping them at any cost.

Her target is Rook McQueen, the son of a small-town loup garou Alpha. Despite being the youngest of three, Rook is first in line to inherit the role of Alpha, a duty he isn’t sure he’s capable of fulfilling. When Brynn finally meets Rook, she doesn’t expect the attraction that draws her to him—and him to her.

No longer believing him a murderer, Brynn and Rook strike an alliance to find her father’s real killer. But when his older brother is targeted by an unknown enemy, Rook will have to choose between his growing feelings for Brynn and his duty as the future Alpha of his community.

Cornerstone Run is a paranormal romance trilogy, set in a world of hidden loup garou, their mystical Magi enemies, and the occasional vampire. The small, reclusive town of Cornerstone, Pennsylvania, houses an almost entirely loup garou population—one of only thirteen towns around the country that serve as a sanctuary for their nonhuman inhabitants, where the loup garou are free to be themselves. When a neighboring sanctuary town is attacked by a vicious, unknown enemy, the three sons of Cornerstone’s Alpha must stand together to protect their people—and the women who steal their hearts.

Cornerstone Run Trilogy:

Black Rook: July 15, 2014 – http://amzn.com/B00I8R61LY

Gray Bishop: October 21, 2014 – http://amzn.com/B00I8RB1WS

White Knight: January 1, 2015 – http://amzn.com/B00I8RB100

Author Bio

Raised on a steady diet of Star Wars, Freddy Krueger and “Fear Street” novels, Kelly Meade developed a love for all things paranormal at a very young age. The stealthy adolescent theft of a tattered paperback from her grandmother’s collection of Harlequins sparked an interest in romance that has continued to this day.

Black Rook is the first novel in her Cornerstone Run series, a paranormal romance trilogy from Berkley Intermix that also includes Gray Bishop and White Knight. It follows three loup garou brothers who will do anything to protect their town, their family, and the secret of their existence—and maybe fall in love in the process.

Writing as Kelly Meding, Three Days to Dead is the first book in her Dreg City urban fantasy series. The series follows Evangeline Stone, a paranormal hunter who is resurrected into the body of a stranger and has only three days to solve her own murder and stop a war between the city’s goblins and vampires. Additional books in the series, As Lie the DeadAnother Kind of Dead, and Wrong Side of Dead, are available in both digital format and mass market paperback from Bantam. Book five, Requiem for the Dead, is available digitally through all platforms.

Trance begins the story of the grown-up children of the world’s slaughtered superheroes who receive their superpowers back after a mysterious fifteen-year absence, and who now face not only a fearful public, but also a vengeful villain who wants all of them dead. Trance and Changeling are available now in both digital format and mass market paperback from Pocket Books. Tempest and Chimera are available in digital format only via Pocket Star. All four MetaWars books can also be purchased as a digital bundle.

LINKS

Website: http://www.kellymeding.com

Blog: http://chaostitan.blogspot.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/KellyMeding

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kelly-Meding/84164375745

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/kellymeding

Tumblr: http://kellymeade.tumblr.com

 

 

Elle Boca: WIP Interview

Elle Boca is the author of the Weeia urban fantasy series set in Miami, Florida in the United States. Unelmoija: The Dreamshifter (read my 5-star review here) and Unelmoija: The Mindshifter, the first and second books of the series respectively, are available as ebooks on Amazon.com. Unelmoija: The Spiritshifter will soon follow.

Elle has been kind enough to offer an exciting excerpt of The Dreamshifter, the first book in the series, for my excerpts’ blog MM Jaye’s friends write. Make sure you read it here.

 

Elle, thank you for coming.  Before we talk about your WIP, why don’t you tell us a few things about yourself?  

When not writing and creating fantastical beings I like nature and wildlife photography, cookies, movies, and dreaming of going on safari.

 

What are you working on right now?

I’m wrapping up Unelmoija: The Spiritshifter, the third book in the Weeia urban fantasy series. I’ve completed the initial manuscript draft. Next, I’ll read, edit, and reread it before sending it out to beta readers.

In book three of the Weeia series, Unelmoija: The Spiritshifter, Amy’s courage is tested once again. Her boyfriend Duncan and the Youth for Change leaders want to find out why young Weeia have no abilities. Should Amy get involved? Is it the right thing to do?

They decide to bring Weeia youth to Miami so Amy can try to amplify their abilities without revealing her identity. Behind the scenes, powerful forces oppose her. Will Duncan, her sister Kat and their friends be able to protect her?

Are you happy with the pace of your work? Do you aim at a specific word count each day?

I focus on telling the story. Some days I write a lot and others not as much. While I track word count from a big picture perspective, what I’m most interested in is telling an engaging story the best way I can.

Plotter, pantser or both?

Both, first I outlined the series and the individual books. As the story unfolds things develop in unexpected ways and I adapt as necessary. I’ll be writing Amy’s dialog (or another character’s) and realize that she would say or think things one way and that requires a change in direction.

What’s your worst enemy in getting that first draft finished?

Time. My quality writing (and proofing) time is limited. I have to take advantage of it whenever it’s available and do the best that I can from there.

Have you ever experienced lack of inspiration or drive to write? If so, how do you motivate yourself?

Once I have the story outlined it’s pretty much steady writing although there are places that require me to slow down to think through a plot point. If I need a break I take it. I strive to write daily.

Could we take a look at your workspace? Is there a particular place you find inspiring?

The image is of a beautiful Miami for purposes of the Weeia series (greater South Florida) waterfront location at sunset. I look at photos like this one to inspire me.

Now your photo is “pinned” on my Featured Writers’ Workspace Board on Pinterest. Apart from Word and Google, do you use any other writing or research tools and apps?

I refer to two online dictionaries on a regular basis. I also refer to maps and research setting details online.

How do you intend to celebrate writing “The End” on your draft?

I celebrate individual victories whenever possible. For Unelmoija: The Spiritshifter, I celebrated with a glass of sparkling wine and a wonderful fish dinner.

Add Florida as the setting, and it’s a celebration I’d dream of myself! Which book publishing processes are you going to outsource and which are you confident enough to undertake yourself?

I rely on beta readers for big picture plot and character issues. Also, I get help with editing and the book covers. The list of readers, reviewers and colleagues who have shared their time, words of wisdom, time and space on their own websites (such as you) is long. To all of you I say a heartfelt thank you!

You are very welcome! Do you have any marketing tips or favorite promotional sites you’d like to share?

I rely mostly on Amazon, Goodreads and my landing page at http://elleboca.poyeen.com/ as well as reviews, author features from friendly colleagues and Twitter.

Is urban fantasy the genre you will brand yourself with or do you see yourself branching out in the future?

Until I finish the Weeia series I’ll focus on urban fantasy. After that, there’s an unfinished mystery I hope to complete.

Would you like to share with us links where we can find you and your work?

Website:

http://elleboca.poyeen.com/

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/elleboca

Amazon author page:

http://www.amazon.com/Elle-Boca/e/B00HRCBEYK/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Goodreads:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7499807.Elle_Boca?from_search=true

Thank you, Elle, and best of luck with the Weeia Unelmoija fantasy series!

Thank you, Maria for your time and interest!

 

V-Card by Alicia Michaels

If you enjoy reading New Adult romances but want to do without the interminable angst, don’t miss “V-Card”, Book 1 in Alicia Michaels’ Sharing Spaces series. The excerpt made me laugh out loud! Also, check out the giveaway below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

V-Card, Sharing Spaces Book 1

by Alicia Michaels

New Adult, Romance, Comedy

April 20th, 2014

Author’s Website | GoodReads

Jennifer Nolan has been unlucky when it comes to love; even more unfortunate when it comes to sex. In fact, the twenty year-old college junior is about to enter her senior year still carrying her v-card. All she wants is to be with that special someone without it resulting in a trip to the emergency room, runaway office supplies, or being scarred for life by someone’s weird fetishes. With several botched attempts under her belt, she begins to fear she’ll end up a lonely spinster or a crazy cat lady.

With only 60 days until her 21st birthday, Jennifer is determined to lose her virginity once and for all. Little does she know that her mission will lead her down a path toward love. She never expects that her mission will lead her to a discovery of what true womanhood is, and where true and lasting love begins.

Excerpt

My mission? To lose my stupid virginity by my twenty-first birthday … which is in two months. I can’t very well go into the next phase of adulthood with my v-card. How can I honestly call myself a ‘woman’ if I fidget, wheeze, and just about have a heart attack at even the thought of intimacy? Any guy I date is going to wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

So, it’s happening. I’m not sure when, or with who—since I’m not dating anybody—but I’m determined not to see twenty-one without shedding that one last thing keeping me at girl-status.

Drastic, much? I don’t think so. Maybe if you knew some of my history, you wouldn’t either. First, there was Jeremy …

My first attempt was as seventeen years old, senior year. It was like something out of a cheesy movie, making out in the back of a car after Homecoming at Lookout Point. Okay, so the place isn’t called Lookout Point, but The Ridge is a cliff overlooking my small Texas hometown and people do go there to make out. Me and Jeremy had been dating for six months—a lifetime in TDT. That’s Teenage Dating Time, by the way.

Anyway, things were getting pretty hot and heavy. The windows were steamed up and we had collapsed on to the backseat in a tangle of writhing arms and legs. Jeremy had me topless and was pretty much in teenage-dude heaven. I mean, I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’ve got some pretty nice boobs. Not too big or anything; average size, but almost the perfect shape and symmetry. Although, with the lack of finesse Jeremy showed in handling them, I doubt he would have cared if one was three sizes bigger than the other, or if my nipples were two different colors.

That familiar tingle of horny teenage hormones was tearing me up inside, turning me into a panting, thoughtless animal. I guess that natural high was what made me bold enough to attempt my first B.J. I mean, how hard could it be? It’s not exactly rocket science.

At least, I didn’t think it was. Apparently there is a science to it, especially when you wear braces. In my enthusiasm, I might have gone in a little too hard. I slipped, my face landed in his lap, and I almost unmanned him. To be fair, the wound was superficial, but there was so much blood you’d have thought someone was stabbed to death in the back of that car.

After dropping Jeremy off at the emergency room, I pretty much ended our relationship by ignoring him until graduation. He didn’t seem to mind. After I mutilated his man-parts, I doubt he would have felt safe getting in the sack with me without some major life insurance.

Let’s see, my next attempt came during my first semester of college, just a few months after my eighteenth birthday. Somehow, I managed to catch the eye of a teacher’s aide. He was a graduate student working on his Master’s in Education. While he was officially considered ‘faculty’, the age gap wasn’t that much and he was too gorgeous for me to be put off with teacher vibes. Slender with long legs and broad shoulders, ginger colored hair and green eyes peeking out from behind sleek, rectangular glasses. Alistair: even his name was sexy.

We traded a lot of smoldering looks across the classroom. Those looks turned into short conversations in passing. Some flirtations where our hands touched as we exchanged papers. One of those hand-touching exchanges led to me being propelled into an empty classroom.

Once again, the moment played out like something from a film. Alistair grabbed my ass and pulled me up against him, his lips crashing down over mine in a seductive move that left me swooning like an idiot. We tore at each other’s clothes, and as soon as he had my pants off, he lifted me and threw me onto a desk.

And right onto a stapler.

You’re probably thinking the two staples I took to my left butt cheek would have been enough to end it, but apparently I’m a glutton for punishment.

“I’m okay, really,” I told him, pulling him in for a kiss.

“Yeah?” he asked, his smile crooked and sexy as he swept the contents of the desk aside to avoid any more injuries. “I’ve wanted this forever,” he said, his mouth tracing a path from my neck and down to places that made my toes curl. My only response was a whimper, as I allowed him to lay me back, struck dumb by his sex appeal as he rested his weight over mine on the desk.

This resulted in another trip to the E.R.

Who’d have thought those classroom desks were so flimsy? It splintered as if it were made of matchsticks, dropping me to the floor, where I cracked the back of my head open on the tiles. A concussion and a few staples were enough to dampen that encounter. Luckily, Alistair did a good job covering up what we’d been about to do and no one was the wiser. When no one questioned his story about how he’d perched on top of the desk I’d been leaning against, causing it to collapse, we were in the clear. I probably could have had a chance with Alistair after that if I’d wanted it. Especially if the longing looks he threw my way were any indication. However, by then I was so freaked out about sex, I just couldn’t bring myself to allow him to get me alone. At the end of the semester, he graduated and I never saw him again.

After that, I decided my first time was going to have to be more vanilla to avoid injury. Good ole missionary position, laying on a bed sex … that was the way to do it. My braces were long gone and office supplies couldn’t impale me.

The chance came my sophomore year when I met Geoff, a moody, brooding art student. He was sexy in a less obvious way. Thin, long, and tall, with an ethereal face framed by inky black hair. He drew pictures of me and called me his muse. He was a total weirdo, but in an artsy sort of way. At least, I thought it was only in the artsy sort of way. He had me fooled for about four months and I thought I we were on our way to a long lasting relationship. That was before he got me half naked in his room and proceeded to try to tie me to the bed with a set of very scary looking leather straps. I don’t think I even bothered to get dressed before I ran, screaming for the hills.

After that I pretty much gave up. There have been a few guys I was interested in, and even a couple of great first dates and kisses. Just a month ago, I went on a date with a guy from my Sociology class. He was cute, funny—and, most importantly—normal. Just the kind of guy I wouldn’t mind giving my virginity to. Unfortunately, when our kisses started to turn in to something more, the twitching and wheezing started and I panicked. If I’m not careful I’m going to develop a reputation for this crap.

No, actually, I’m not.

I’m not, because I’m determined to just power through and do it.

The countdown is on.

60 days.

Oh God, I think I’m going to barf.


Author Bio
 I began my writing career as an author of Fantasy and Science Fiction. My first books include The Lost Kingdom of Fallada Series and The Boinics Series.

An army wife and a mother of three, my days are never dull and I never lack for anything to do. I love to cook, sew, and of course, read.

I’m a believer in the written word and I love transporting people to different settings and allowing them to make friends with my characters.

Links

Website: http://www.fantasybyalicia.com

V-Card Website: http://www.vcard-aliciamichaels.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/fantasybyalicia

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fantasybyalicia

GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6469080.Alicia_Michaels

Amazon: http://amzn.com/e/B009CVNFXM

Excerpt: You Can’t Kill The Multiverse (But You Can Mess With Its Head) by Ira Nayman

Multiverse front

(Excerpt offered by permission of the author)

You Can’t Kill The Multiverse (But You Can Mess With Its Head) by Ira Nayman

Genre: Humourous science fiction

1. The Necromantic Uncertainty Principle in Action

All of the ingredients – many of which were difficult to find in this heathen realm – had been collected. The eyes of various beasts were freely available at a specialty market in Kensington. Various herbs could be found in what the people of this realm called “supermarkets,” where they were sold for pittances. The blood of a virgin was a little harder to come by, but, after three tries, the wizard found one by surfing through a place on a magical scrying glass called Craigslist. The young woman – Gladys Kravitz of Niagara Falls – seemed immune to his charms, so the wizard drugged her drink – purely in the name of world domination! – and took the serum that he needed. When she woke up the next day, she would be weak and woozy and have an uncontrollable craving to eat jelly beans, but at least she would wake up the next day. For what good that would do her.

The wizard read the prognosticatory pages of many of the local papers (such as The Star and The Globe) to determine when the moon would be at its fullest. While there, he picked up this nugget of wisdom: ‘Today will not be a good day to start a new project’. And, indeed, it would not be a good day FOR THE CREATURES WHO LIVED IN THIS REALM! He would have laughed evilly at this thought, but the steam from the ingredients coming to a boil in the cauldron was playing havoc with his asthma, so the wizard settled for a wicked grin and the promise of much evil laughter to come.

“Alzabracheem fectid barada nictu,” the wizard intoned as his hands snaked in front of him and he put the fourth toe of his left foot in, he put the fourth toe of his left foot out, he put the fourth toe of his left foot in and he shook it all about. As the stench from the boiling cauldron contents started to grow, his chanting became louder and his motions more animated. Part of him suspected that his landlady, Missus Schmelson, would give him no end of grief if she was unable to get the smell out of the drapes, but it was a small part of him, easily ignored as the dark ritual reached its climax.

“ALZABRACHEEM FECTID BARADA NICTU!” he shouted, his motions becoming what can only be described as ‘frenzied’.

“ALZABRACHEEM KLAATU BARADA NICTU!”

Then, just as the wizard feared he would collapse from exhaustion before the climax of the ritual…there was a mild ‘poof’ and a wisp of pale grey smoke rose out of the cauldron before it was dissipated by the air conditioning. (It was a humid July night, okay? Where does it say that casting a world-threatening spell has to be done in discomfort?)

This was not what the wizard had been promised by the Malificient Malefactorum de Maliciosi. He was expecting the sky to darken and blood to rain from the clouds. He was expecting a rumbling so deep it shook the earth with a trembling, fearsome [MODERN ENGLISH TRANSLATION: a fearsome trembling]. He was expecting various demons to pour forth from a hole in the universe, create a little havoc, then await his command. He was expecting to hear cries of terror from the street, the horrific wailing of those whose comfortable, familiar world had turned into a nightmare. When you are expecting the horrific wailing of those whose comfortable, familiar world had turned into a nightmare, poof and a wisp of pale grey smoke just don’t cut it.

He couldn’t understand what had gone wrong – the wizard had been studying the Malificient Malefactorum de Maliciosi since his uncle Maladroissier had given it to him for his fifth birthday. He consulted the great book of evil spells. Over over sideways over under sideways down – he had clearly done the hand gestures properly. Same with the incantation – his southern accent may have distorted the words a little, but the meaning should have been clear. The contents of the cauldron were still bubbling, so the wizard tried the incantation again, this time enunciating the words more clearly and making the hand gestures more slowly and fluidly. He was rewarded with a ‘pop’ and acrid orange smoke. No blood raining from the sky. No horrific wailing of…you know.

It wasn’t because the wizard was fat BECAUSE THE WIZARD WASN’T FAT, OKAY? His…overabundance of physical presence was pure muscle. Mostly. Well, damn the pox-eyed pusillanimosity of Polidor, anyway, who said evil sorcerers all had to be tall and thin? Other than all of his teachers at Worthags, the school for evil sorcerers (where, okay, fine, sure, he had to admit that he had only graduated 23rd in his class – middle of the pack – not bad, but not enough to get you into the really top flight covens. Look, the important thing is that he did get his degree, and it qualified him to practice the dark arts every bit as much as Jimmy Malfantome, Marise Maldarictor or any of the other students who had graduated ahead of him, okay? Anyway, he would have done much better if he hadn’t had to take Zombies in seventh grade – zombies, uuuuuuugh! But, Animal Familiars was full – what can one do? He knew he shouldn’t dwell on the past so much, but, really…umm…what was he talking about, again? Oh, right…) And, all of the other students. And, his parents. And Evelina Malaproptor, authoress of The 25 Bad Habits of Really Successful Warlocks. Still, he thought, surely evil isn’t about how much you weigh, but about the content of your heart. Your dark, bile-filled heart.

The wizard screamed in frustration. Almost immediately – with unseemly haste, actually – somebody banged on his floor from below. “Sorry, Missus Rosinante,” he shouted. “I…I stubbed my toe. It was very painful, as you might –” The tenant below banged on his floor a couple more times with greater urgency. “Right. Right. Sorry,” he mumbled to himself. He imagined the blood raining down especially hard on her head.

It was late and he was discouraged. Deciding to call it a night, the wizard turned off the burner on the stove and moved the cauldron to a cold burner. A conscientious evil sorcerer will always clean up his workspace as soon as he has cast his last spell (or, so Evelina Malaproptor would have one believe), but his heart wasn’t in it. The cleaning would have to wait until morning.

The wizard went to bed, oblivious to the croaking that was coming from the street outside his window.

2. Faith, Hope and Severity

“Frogs?” Superintendent McCrae barked in disbelief.

Faith and Hope looked at each other as though that could somehow change the answer. It didn’t. So, they looked back at their boss and Hope responded, “Yeah. Frogs.”

“The size of cars?” Superintendent McCrae continued.

“That is correct,” Faith answered. “It makes sense, since…” she bit down on her lip, but the words had to come out: “the cars had turned into frogs.”

“The cars had turned into frogs?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What,” Superintendent McCrae asked in the certain knowledge that he was not going to like the answer, “happened to the people in the cars?”

____________

If you wish to find out what happened to the people driving the cars that turned into giant frogs, buy “You Can’t Kill The Multiverse (But You Can Mess With Its Head) here: http://amzn.to/P11Rmn

To connect with Ira Nayman, use the links below:

WEB SITE: Les Pages aux Folles
URL: http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca

FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/ira.nayman
FACEBOOK WRITER’S/FAN/WHATEVER PAGE: Ira Nayman’s Thrishty Friednishes
URL: http://www.facebook.com/ThrishtyFriednishes
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/#!/ARNSProprietor

BOOKS: Alternate Reality News Service collections (Alternate Reality Ain’t What It Used To Be, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children’s Toys and Luna for the Lunies!) and the novelsWelcome to the Multiverse (Sorry for the Inconvenience) and You Can’t Kill the Multiverse (But You Can Mess With its Head) can be purchased on Amazon.com
URL: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&sort=relevancerank&search-alias=books&ie=UTF8&field-author=Ira%20Nayman

ARNS BOOK TRAILER: “A Book Trailer Called ‘Book Trailer’”
URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Er2FshjzaWY

NOVEL TRAILERS
First Novel: http://bit.ly/WelcomeMultiverse_Trailer
Second Novel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7MYosQPkfc

ELSEWHEN PRESS WEB SITE: http://elsewhen.co.uk/