Owned (Friday Fictioneers #2 )

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What an awesome idea! A picture prompt, a 100-word story every Friday that links dozens of writer bloggers! Thank you, Rochelle Wishoff-Fields!

Here’s my second attempt entitled “Owned”.

Picture prompt – Copyright: Jennifer Pendergast

Owned

I sit on my favorite bench facing the archway. Two young men pass by, engrossed in conversation. One turns and gives me a genuine smile. I smile back. Freshmen for sure. Seniors reserve a different look for me.

An old sedan pulls up. A man steps out.

“Whatcha doin’ slackin’?”

I stand up and tug at my too short skirt to hide the marks. “Five minutes, Bob!”

“I give you five minutes when the jitters come tonight. See how five minutes feel then!” He climbs back into the car and drives away.

With one last look beyond the archway, I trudge back to my dark corner.
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For more stories on this prompt, click on the linky:

Comments

42 responses to “Owned (Friday Fictioneers #2 )”

May 29, 2014

MM Jaye

The abduction of the Nigerian girls, and the future they face if they’re not brought back to their families is what brought this on. Here in Greece, hundreds of African girls are brought illegally by human trafficking rings. They have their youth, but they don’t own anything; not their body, not even their very existence.

Reply
1. May 29, 2014
  
  talesfromthemotherland
  
  A deeply troubling story, and deeply troubling inspiration, Maria. This is really well done, and especially given that English is not your first language. I think you’ve done an exceptional job of capturing the way her pimp talks, as well as how the narrator shares the story. Excellent!
  
  Reply
  1. May 29, 2014
    
    MM Jaye
    
    Thank you so much, Dawn! Nevertheless, your tribute was the story of the week for me!
    
    Reply
    1. May 29, 2014
      
      talesfromthemotherland
      
      Thank you so much, Maria. That is very kind of you! 🙂
      
      Reply
May 29, 2014

wmqcolby

Good job adapting a real situation into a story. Unfortunately, there were similar incidents when I was in college, only it was a domestic situation and known only to a few.
Not bad for a second attempt. So, you’re from Athens (not Georgia, I see!). Studying there? Native? American married to a Greek? Vice- versa?
Nice work this week. And thanks for no killings! LD

Reply
1. May 29, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  A native Greek, married to a Greek-Canadian. English is not my mother tongue, so it’s twice as difficult to come up with the right language. I try… Thanks for stopping by! Loved the green-pea-eating, Flemish-speaking alien!
  
  Reply
  1. May 30, 2014
    
    aliciajamtaas
    
    You do a wonderful job with the language although I’m sure it’s trying at times.
    
    Reply
    1. May 30, 2014
      
      MM Jaye
      
      Thank God for Google and Thesaurus! 🙂
      
      Reply
May 29, 2014

helenmidgley

Wow that was a powerful little piece, really drew me in and I need to know more, NOW, lol 🙂

Reply
1. May 29, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  The most harrowing piece I’ve ever read was an interview of a 14-year-old girl in The Guardian years ago. At the age of nine, she was sold by her father to traffickers and ended up in London. She was kept for months in a room, pumped up with drugs until she stopped resisting clients. A couple of years later, wire-thin, she escaped through a small window and survived through prostitution. She was addicted to crack and heroine. She can’t still be alive. I can’t think of that story and not cry.
  
  Thanks for commenting!
  
  Reply
May 29, 2014

tedstrutz

That is sad and all too real. You wrote it well. And welcome to FriFic!

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1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thank you, Ted! It’s loads of fun despite the grim theme I chose today 🙂
  
  Reply
May 29, 2014

FabricatingFiction

Really powerful. Well done.

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  I appreciate your stopping by. Thanks!
  
  Reply
May 29, 2014

patrickprinsloo

Most moving. I think the discussion regarding the legalisation of prostitution needs to be kept high on the agenda – bring in controls and protection and lock out the gangs and pimps.

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thanks for your comment! I’m afraid that there are interests that run very high up, and there’s no political will to curb this.
  
  Reply
May 30, 2014

aliciajamtaas

Seniors reserve a different look for me is a very sad and telling line. The whole story is very well done.

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thank you, Alicia! I wanted to make her think that she would fit it, to remember how good she was at school, but the 100 words wouldn’t let me…
  
  Reply
May 30, 2014

K.Z.

that was a very sad and a very strong piece with a very serious topic. you’ve handled and presented it very well.

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  I appreciate your comment, K.Z.! I love your stories, so it means a lot!
  
  Reply
May 30, 2014

elappleby

A sad story, well written. I love the different smiles of the freshmen and seniors that gave us a hint of what was to come. And if English isn’t your first language, then this is doubly impressive!

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thank you so much!
  
  Reply
May 30, 2014

rochellewisoff

Dear Maria,

This is rather disturbing given the comments. Well done.

Shalom,

Rochelle

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  rochellewisoff
  
  I didn’t mean that the comments were disturbing. They shed light on the whole story for me. 😉
  
  Reply
  1. May 30, 2014
    
    MM Jaye
    
    I totally understood what you meant, Rochelle! It is disturbing given the beautiful image. You went for a dark take yourself… Fancy that! Thanks for stopping by!
    
    Reply