Owned (Friday Fictioneers #2 )

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What an awesome idea! A picture prompt, a 100-word story every Friday that links dozens of writer bloggers! Thank you, Rochelle Wishoff-Fields!

Here’s my second attempt entitled “Owned”.

Picture prompt – Copyright: Jennifer Pendergast

Owned

I sit on my favorite bench facing the archway. Two young men pass by, engrossed in conversation. One turns and gives me a genuine smile. I smile back. Freshmen for sure. Seniors reserve a different look for me.

An old sedan pulls up. A man steps out.

“Whatcha doin’ slackin’?”

I stand up and tug at my too short skirt to hide the marks. “Five minutes, Bob!”

“I give you five minutes when the jitters come tonight. See how five minutes feel then!” He climbs back into the car and drives away.

With one last look beyond the archway, I trudge back to my dark corner.
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For more stories on this prompt, click on the linky:

Comments

42 responses to “Owned (Friday Fictioneers #2 )”

May 30, 2014

dmmacilroy

Dear MM Jaye,

Every time I try to write a story in Greek, I end up with gibberish, so congratulations to you for such stellar work. The story was harrowing and masterfully told. Well done and welcome.

Aloha,

Doug

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thank you, Doug! I do consider myself bilingual when it comes to the written word, but every positive vote counts!
  
  Reply
May 30, 2014

Nicholas C. Rossis

That was wonderfully disturbing! Beautiful, powerful writing!

Reply
1. May 30, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  It means a lot coming from a fantastic writer like you, Nicholas! Thanks! It’s been a dark week, and it shows…
  
  Reply
  1. May 31, 2014
    
    Nicholas C. Rossis
    
    That’s why we write, isn’t it? And thank you, but I think your writing is every bit as good as mine – if not better. 🙂
    
    Reply
May 31, 2014

Dee

Hi Maria
See what you meant about a doomed woman! Very well written,disturbing, all the more so as it happens much more than we know.
Dee

Reply
1. May 31, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Unfortunately, it does… And when you see it happening right in front of your eyes, and it’s not a woman but a girl, and you can’t do anything to help the feeling of desolation is crippling… Thanks for commenting.
  
  Reply
May 31, 2014

aliciajamtaas

Nicely done. So much said in so few words. Bravo!

Reply
1. May 31, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  I appreciate your comment, Alicia!
  
  Reply
May 31, 2014

Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

So sad.. a fallen angel for sure.. I wonder if she once was a freshman herself – for some the fall is deep.. Love the compassion you show. Greetings from Sweden

Reply
June 1, 2014

patriciaruthsusan

Maria, Well written and very sad because it’s realistic. This happens to far too many girls, many far too young as you said. Well done. —Susan

Reply
June 2, 2014

lingeringvisions by Dawn

Disturbing.

Reply
June 2, 2014

rgayer55

Sad and very realistic. Poor girl.

Reply
June 2, 2014

elmowrites

I have a theory, but I’m not sure I’m right, about what’s happening here. I like how well I could feel the girl’s fear and sadness, and Bib’s character was clear from just a line or two. A belated Welcome to the Fictioneers!

Reply
June 13, 2014

larry trasciatti

There’s a lot of implicit stuff more than what’s said. Such a pretty girl gets unwelcome attention

Reply
1. June 14, 2014
  
  MM Jaye
  
  Thank you, Larry, for stopping by!
  
  Reply