Vivid (Friday Fictioneers #1)

What an awesome idea! A picture prompt, a 100-word story every Friday that links dozens of writer bloggers! Thank you, Rochelle Wishoff-Fields!

Here’s my first attempt entitled “Vivid”.

Copyright Erin Leary
Picture Prompt – Copyright Erin Leary

Vivid

 

The foreground is crisp and clear just like the breeze wafting in from the open window. I need mossy green. Perfect. Now burnt orange. A drop of blood red gives me persimmon. I shrug. Sepia, tawny strokes slash my canvas. I cock my head. The gnarly twigs give me a thumbs-up. Two flicks of my wrist, and I add vertical lines. Then a dewy drop at the tip to soften their descent. I ponder on the foggy background. I let it be.

One deep breath, and I open my eyes. Feeling for the edge of the window panes, I shut the breeze out and count the five steps to the door, smiling.

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I’d love your feedback! Also, if you’d like to check out other bloggers’ stories for this prompt, click on the linky:

Comments

49 responses to “Vivid (Friday Fictioneers #1)”

  1. elappleby Avatar

    Welcome to FF!
    Lovely writing. The twist was subtle but clever. And I’m left with an image of a happy, smiling woman enjoying her own version of a beautiful view.

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      That’s exactly what I was going for! Thank you for stopping by!

  2. sustainabilitea Avatar

    I like your description and I’m left wondering whether it’s all in her imagination, as I think, or if she’s really painting, despite her blindness. Not matter which, she can certainly “see” clearly.

    Welcome to FF and I look forward to readying your next story.

    janet

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Having her stand in front of an open window, I was going for her adding color to her day. Thank you so much for commenting! Your take on the picture was amazing!

  3. BjΓΆrn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    What a wonderful story.. It’s so nice with new fresh voices here. Yours has so many layers which I like.. the descriptions in the beginning is a joy.. and the twist shakes the foundation of reality in a great way.. you said you are from Greece.. well I’m from Sweden.. there are quite a few of us writing from different part of the world.

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Thank you for your positive vote, Bjorn! It is indeed a great way to connect! Greetings to the north from the south!

  4. Lucy Avatar

    Poor thing. Loss of sight but making her own picture in her mind. Brilliant story. Lucy

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Thank you, Lucy! I hope that what the reader is left with is optimism…

  5. Jim Kane Avatar
    Jim Kane

    Welcome!
    Nicely done!
    Regards
    Jim

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Thank you so much!

  6. Dee Avatar

    Welcome to FF it’s good to see you here.
    Your writing is lovely, very descriptive, I too was looking out of that window.
    I enjoyed your twist at the end
    Dee

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Thank you for your warm welcome, Dee! I’m really glad to meet all of you!

  7. aliciajamtaas Avatar

    Delightful. At first I thought she was a painter, but the twist at the end made it quite clear she was a painter only in her mind’s eye

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Thank you for your encouragement! It means a lot!

  8. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Maria,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. You may find, as I have, that it’s a weekly addiction from which I’ve found no recovery program. πŸ˜‰

    As BjΓΆrn pointed out, we are a global family connected by words.

    It took me a couple of reads to realize your MC is blind. As an artist myself I was envisioning the brush strokes and her painting. Nicely done.

    Suggestion: In your intro, don’t warn us of the twist. Let us experience and enjoy it for ourselves.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    1. MM Jaye Avatar
      MM Jaye

      Rochelle, thank you so much for stopping by and for your suggestion! Initially, I didn’t mention the “twist” in the intro, but visitors failed to see my conclusive point (that the person is blind) so I felt I should give a head-up πŸ™‚

  9. patriciaruthsusan Avatar

    Maria, Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! A lovely story. While the narrator added color to her world, she also added color to my view of it. Very creative ending. Well done. πŸ™‚ —Susan

  10. MrBinks Avatar
    MrBinks

    What a great way to mark your debut. Nice work. Blinding!

I’d love to hear from you!